Call Me Whatever

When Coffee makes you drunk

I had it figured out that Taco isn't really an Italian food.
Wait up, didn't I just told you about that?

Went out with Wanie yesterday. Dropped by for family dinner and off we headed to watch movie. I told her, hey wasn't it Chinese New Year today? What the heck all this leng lui and leng zhai doin' here?

And she answered, ain't you one of them. I said firmly, no I am not. Even my grandfather is a chinese but that doesn't make me a chinese. I am me. Oh what the heck I am talkin'. She just said I am drunk. But honestly, I am free from alcohol this week. YOU GOTTA BELIEVE me. Like seriously. No weed allowed in Malaysia baby.

So I was scanning some books. I grabbed one or two. And I stopped in between the old guy and not so hot dude. "This is what I hate whenever I come to the bookstore. I can't stop buying books on and on!". I was talking to myself and this two men were looking at me. Maybe they thought I am crazy or maybe they thought I am high with weed. Jesus christ, I am not.

Hey Wanie, I am just going to leave this two books here. Would you upset with me then?.
Silly question. I shouldn't ask her.

"I will be very upset if you leave the book there. Go and put it back from where you took it."

Damned she's being so fuckin' bossy to me. I make some face but YES I put it back to the place where it suppose to be.

So I told her, hey silly lets watch some Malay movie today. It felt like am being so English already. Now I feel like watchin' something easy.

Too bad. We ended up with Bullet On Your Head. I have no issue. Basically, action movie has been always my favorite. I've been growing up watching Rambo as early as I was just 9- years old I think. And I remember when I came to visit my aunty one day and her son was tryin' to play army and soldiers with me and the next thing I knew he was running after me with a knife on his hand. That was silly. Never ever let young children watch this kind of movie before the time. Let them have all the Barneys and Jungle Junction and so on.

We went back home yesterday feelin' exhausted and we made some video of ourselves taking' nonsense. Fire crackers were everywhere and seriously the kids next door just called me aunty lets play outside,what the heck. And I told them, hey call me leng lui. What aunty aunty, thought I am so old ah?

We told them, aunty don't wear short pants and sexy like us. Aunty won't play fire crackers with kids. Only cool sexy leng lui will do that because their boyfriend is not around or their boyfriend is dead.

So we make them promise not to call us aunty. Call us Ah Moi. Laugh Out Loud. So we played and there was one time I said, I want to climb the roof and lie down there looking at the skies. But of course I am telling them jokingly. What do you think.

Then today, I woke up quite late. It's her birthday.
I went downstairs with T-shirt and undies and messy hair and saw her sitting downstairs alone watching' TV.

I said, hey its your birthday huh? Look I wanna sing.
So, I was thinking to sing Single Ladies.

To the tune of single ladies," Hey Ms.Wanda,Hey Ms.Wanda,Hey Ms.Wanda"... with my sexy pose and I am lifting my fingers up and when I am just about to do my sexy swing I saw people coming out from the kitchen... - LITTLE DID I KNOW,WE HAVE VISITORS!

Disaster! Embarrassing! I AM DEAD!

Morale of the story, never try to sing for people. Duh!

This was the reason why I am being so pissed off today. Anyway it was my fault. I swear, I am not going to sing for anyone anymore ~ ever!.