I am counting my dollars to see if it's enough till the end of the month. I've spent my entire salary for shopping and honestly I don't think I can survive till the end of the month now.

Anyway, I bought a new toy today. And seriously, my card has been declined since last night. Did I just maxed out?

When I was at college, I fell in love with one of my course mate.
He is 6 foot tall and he got this blue eyes.

When I was at college, I fell in love with one of my course mate.
He is a Canadian with bright smile.

He used to sit at the corner of the classroom whenever we had the same subject together.

During that moment, I was pretty sure that what I did was the right things to do.
Then I texted him with my other number.

I wasn't aware that the relationship goes on well for like a year.
Some people says, how can you be in loved with someone who you never even meet before.

And I wasn't aware that I've created a fairy tales for him.

For all these years, I do sometime remember about him. I felt sorry for myself.  For lying. For cheating. For couldn't be my own selves.

How could I knock someone door and walked away just like that?.

Amazing to think that, no long ago we were both only two strangers who work under the same management.
It was too amazing to think how did we come into this far. And we were the hot topic for last week.

My days are falling into a sort of life pattern which is hard to explain. Apart from my shopaholic addiction I guess I am a beauty freak now. But all this - is a neutral ground.

As I walked today with  my sales team, I smiled and keep looking at my mobile. If this is what we call the thrill of things which can kill - I may say, I'll take it as it may come. But for now, don't stop the music.

This could be dangerous.

I had a tough day in the office today. The GM keeps on attacking me. For I don't know what reason he keep saying something like, if your MD is not around I am your boss. The thing is he is not my boss, he just happened to be more senior than me. I think he forgot that my MD is the paymaster who pays for his salary and his house which tentatively is not his yet. He still couldn't get the fact that I am the MD second big lady. If he can talk with no respect to the owner of the company, can you imagine how he talks to me.

I told my MD about this. And keep on saying the Sun Tzu Art of War. He keeps on telling me to be calm and patience because when the day come he will end up with nothing. I'll wait.

So, I had so much yesterday. I was so stressed and I end up myself at Sephora. And you can't believe it how much I spend. I can't believe myself either. It was $930.00. I just swallow myself- if that makes me feel good.

Then I bumped with this product. It calls FRESH ROSE FACE MASK. What I like about this product is, the cold gel makes me feel so calm,soothe and relax. The smell is so good. It smells something like SHILLS Rose product. Since I have a problem with dehydrated skin, I think this mask should be the best for me. As it said, works well in toning the complexion into radiance and suppleness.

Apart from that, it can help brighten the skin. Wow, this is so much already.

Okay let just try.

Some say it is not easy to leave our old selves behind. Life is unexpected.

I have nothing much to write today. In fact, I am excited as the weekend is finally approaching. 

I may sound too lonely but having a boyfriend at the wrong time could be a disaster though. Sometimes, I do wish I could have someone who I can talk to. Who I can laugh it during my hardest time.

Can someone make me fall in love? Instead of me approaching them?

I thought I was getting on better today. I just couldn't get along well with the General Manager. I'd tried to act normal but it was so obvious that people surround us do notice about us.

I went out  for a late lunch with new friends who happened to know him very well. They said, I should just ignore him and do work professionally. Don't let the emotion control me because if that is the case, it showed how weak I am.

So with heavy heart. I still proceed the discussion with him.
It's difficult especially when he is trying to find my mistake on purpose.

I wish I couldn't  particularly be bothered.
I am not prejudice. My judgement based on reason and experience.

Last weekend, while waiting for a dinner I hang out with one of the Malaysian basketball player at one of the local coffee shop. I am not a sketchers freak. I am not into Adidas or even Nike or even Under Armour.

Then again, there was this one topic where they were talking about Jeremy Scott design. And they showed me one of the photo.

And they challenge me if I am dare to wear this.

Taken From Google

Anyway, if you don't know there will be a big events at Summit for all the sketchers head on 22th September 2013 at Summit.

I kinda like this but I am not so sure if I dare to wear this at public.

I used to pick him up and send him away to the airport. It's not like the first time I am sending him away. But today, I felt sad.  Sad for being more than 8000 miles away to each other. Sad for waking up in the morning and knowing that L.A is 18hours different from K.L.

I can't believe how I am relying so much to my Managing Director.

Anyway, I am driving out to see my sales team now.

Life has to be strong.

Okay there are two choices here. Either I can keep myself staring out of the window worrying about the future or keep my journey forward.

I finally found my dream job. But the road is not always clear. There will be always an obstacle along the way.

Just like  what happened yesterday, the GM called me up and scolded me for some nonsense. Obviously, he is not happy with the new system and about us bringing new people. He felt insecure. But he has to accept the fact that I am the second lady after the owner of the company.

What I did or whatever decision that I made are meant for the company itself. And I put my foot down that if he is not happy he can leave and the fact that he thought that "I think that with my position now, I can do whatever I think I can -  because I am big"... - thaaat... I will have to say, it's your lost. I bet you can figure out where is my name in our company now. My name sit at the first chart before your name. The fact is my name come first before yours. So you have to swallow that I am the boss.

So being nice to people not always good.

I chose to draw the line now. Because I'll not given up.

To his great annoyance, let me tell you back then, I was just a normal girl who doing the office job from nine to five - five days a week.

I felt insulted when he makes a remark about how much I am getting paid.

As much as I've been reading books nowadays. One of the books, taught me that, "Never underestimate one's capability".

All I'm saying is that, I am a different person now. I do not have to brag about everything because eventually you'll get to know about me and that time you'll feel sorry about yourself.

Welcome to the corporate world. And it's a blessing in disguise.
You can change your name, but you cannot change your skin.

Wilfred was my first high school boyfriend. I was 13 and he was 15.
I thought we are going to get married but it turned out that we were not.

He was tall with a fair skin and I could say that he was the most good looking guy I've ever seen in my entire life ( that moment ).

I had  two boxes of his love letters to me. Although we never really go out for date but looking at each other from far and exchanging smile was enough ( during that golden years of mine ). Still, I thought we were going to get married soon.

I was just fooling around when I saw him for the first time. But the next thing I knew,we were writing letters to each other.

How sweet.
I wish I could have one photo with him together.

Still, I love him for being real and true.

And for the record, we didn't get married.

Love changes everything.

How's life? I forgot that I've been so silence for few months. Does it feel like a decade?
I forget that I was the author of this blog and it seems like my blood run smoothly here.

Why? Because I think I felt much more secure here. There are always a different when you've written so much and people tend to read you and dig about your personal more than expected.

I've had a damaged heart. But I overcome my past.

In between of my journey, I stumbled into someone. Who I thought just an ordinary person. I fell down and I've given up. And I am ready to go. I just thought that I've made a big mistake but it turned out to be something which I've never expected.

Now, I am sitting at my leather seat where everyone is trying to play me out. It's tough but life is getting better. I can't predict the future-but I know it is going to be awesome.

And Ex, you were looking down at me when I told you that I only earned 2500 per/month few months back while you are earning 50K. Never look down on people, because you never know. Money only impress a lazy girl. When a woman works hard,a man with money is just a bonus not a ladder to upgrade.

Have a good weekend.