I came home today feeling so damned full.
And doing blog-hop is my part time job nowadays since Monster on over the sea mode.

So as I was out with Wanie today - We talked about  friendship and relationship and how these two things made our world upside down. We have become so close recently after knowing that we live in the same neighborhood. As you know I am quite a pampered spoiled child. ( In a good way lar..)

I feel like I easily get connected to people who treat me well. Who knows how to appreciate me. Who knows how to value relationship. I feel good when people treat me as how it suppose to be. I feel good when people show some respect to each other. To me, a friend don't lie to each other. A friend doesn't take things for granted. A friend love each other. Care for each other. It applies the same to the relationship as well.

When you are upset it doesn't mean that you need to hit people. Everything can be solved with slow talk. Discussion and all. And if you can't express it by talking, write a letter then. Or email. Or blog. Ha - Ha. Please no blog.

Like me, my mother taught me by writing a letter. So I used to write her a letter and leave it on her dressing table like, Mom I am angry because you don't let me buy that Barbie last night. Now I am not going to talk to you. Please don't talk to me either. Because I am really upset but I still hope you will get me that Barbie. Else I am going to run away, like seriously. ( But you know mom, I am always your good girl. I promise I'll study very hard...pleaseeee.. :) :) ) - Something like this will be good enough.

Or like this, dear monster I was upset with you because you didn't even say a word before you leave for Manila the other day. You don't even send me text although I know it will cost you 60 cents of Singapore money or whatever. Now I am really angry but not at the stage of Lion King yet. When I saw your text today, I was wishing you get kidnap there and they make you a statue but then again that's mean I won't be seeing Mocha so I pulled back my thought. Next time don't make me worry else I am going to get myself kidnapped. ( But you know I am always being your good girl :) :) ) As in return, please let me come to Singapore this weekend, yours sincerely, Baby.

Ha ha.

Good night everyone.

P/S I am not into this blogger judging. I've read the news about one of the blogger today but I am sorry. If you ask about my public opinion. I am not going to comment anything. Everyone has their own right to reveal  or not to about who they really are. In life we have a choice. Either we want to live with someone who can love and take care us till death do us apart or live with fake lies people. Who life depends on pretty lies they put on peoples' lives. It applies to blogger life as well. You just have to choose. Either keep collecting stone or start living your life on the right path. You choose. He - He like me I want my fairy-tales.

Hello people,

I just woke up. I don't think am drunk last night. LOL.

Anyway, there is this Doctor keep on calling me and keep asking me to add him on Facebook.
Damn! It was in the office last year that I picked up the wrong call and he keeps chasing me until now. WTF.
And someone from the office gave my personal number some more. Seriously.

Why today so many distractions????


WHY? WHY? I want sleep also cannot.

Now that I am awake I feel like slapping people. By the way, tomorrow is Valentine day.

Anybody wants to date me or not?? Ha-Ha

I am still thinking. Look at my finger. So empty. Okay now I am going out to buy 4D.

Now that I am very particular about my diet. I started my day by waking up with 30-times of sit ups.

Although it didn't really work well but it is enough to make me feel good about myself.

I go for a gym every weekend and I spend like 2-hours just to do the running. I am good in running you see.

Other than that, sometime I joined the Yoga and Zumba. But it just once in a while, my work schedule are really pack nowadays.

And, since I have few departments in my company - it require me to walk a lot to sort things. Sometime I have to climb the stairs just to avoid the slow elevator outside.

So, that's about it.

How yours?

When I was a kid, I like to look at the skies a lot. Even now, I am still doing that.
Blue skies are beautiful. They make me happy.

I am the girl who loves the skies a lot.

I have to say tonight is the coldest of all the nights because it was raining an hour ago.
We were having some BBQ and the wine was passed around the table.

We were having so much fun and I forgot that I was too excited last night that I went to sleep only at three in the morning.

I have a very limited access to the internet. I try to accept the fact that I should live my life once in a while without the distraction of virtual worlds. They said, no phone Alexa. What are you doing with the phone?

Yes, I don't need one. I scrolled my phone and read the last text from Aemy.
She's right, some people don't deserve to be treated well. Some people are just fake. Tell crap just to brag about everything in this world. What the fuck now dude?. You just ruin everything. A simple hey won't be too much. Obviously.

I am addicted to coffee. Seeing the flask empty make me sick. We drove to the nearest Starbuck and get myself a coffee. While waiting for Sean, I saw the same guy which I've spoken to. He reminds me of Danny and I just thought it was him.

He looked back to me and he smiled. He said hi.
He brought his mom and she waved at me. Gosh, this person remembers me. Of course, we remember good person. It doesn't happen everytime. I am pretty sure I am being nice to everyone. But sometime people take me for granted which now I could not tolerate anymore.

I purposely sit there and look at them. Wondering who are they. Wondering why this old lady sitting at the Starbuck having her dinner. Why not at home. Furthermore it's the festive season. I wanted to ask. But it won't make sense if I drop the question out of the blue.

Sean said, hey come on Alexa. Time to go.

Wait. I want to sit here for quite sometime.

Fuck. I wanted to have a chit chat with them. What the hell I am thinking now?.

***************************************************************************

You won't believe this. I just spoke to the old lady. Call me whatever. Ha - Ha
They are Baba Nyonya. I knew it.

Hi aunty, how are you today?.

She smiled and asked me to sit.
I was excited. Didn't know that I attract her attention that much.

What is your name?.
I told her my name. You've got nice name.
I said, thank you.

Are you Catholic?. Yes I am. I go to SFX.

Aunty you look so unwell. I feel bad for you.

Do you come here often?

It was almost 9PM when I realized that I am too hungry. The chat was great.
I feel so much connected. Maybe  because she remind me of my late grandmother that much.

I wish I can talk longer to her. And get to know her better.

Aunty I can cook for you if you don't mind, sincerely.
But telling this to an old lady which you just met twice is some kind of scary you see.

Anyway, I feel good to myself about how much I leave tatoo on someone's life.
People remember me. People notice me.

Because I know, even how much I said I am being mean to people - I always knew that I treat people good no matter how ridiculous they are. Even how much bad scar they left in my life I still treat them good. Even how bad was the betrayal or the lies they put in my life, I never treat them bad as in return. I know how it feel to be a human.

All this doesn't mean that I am not firm in life. I have my own principle. I have my own view. I have my own thought. But I don't born to be rude. I am not conservative. It's just that I know how it feels to be human.

I know how it feels to be human. So you people out there, who takes things for granted and keep fucking someone else life. Your time will come when you realized you are collecting stone all the way instead of the diamond in the skies. Because all the lies you've made up only lasted till the clock stop ticking.

I grabbed Sean's hand as soon as I packed  my thing.
Sean you not gonna believe this.

What the fuck you thinking you are doing Alexa. Did you just flirt with that old lady?.

I said, shut up. I was just chatting. I just feel like asking. A little hello won't kill you ain't you Sean?.
Yes great, you being weird.

He gave me that sarcastic look. Anyway, Sean is my handsome cousin. But I like it when people thought he is my boyfriend. Laugh Out Loud.

We drove back to the resort with a smile on my face.
I am glad I still have a heart.

When you put up lies that's mean your acceptance of life are too low.
It won't kill a person to have a little thought for each other.

I will definitely come back to have a little chat with the aunty.


.

I was walking through the white sand today.
I looked up. The sky so blue.

I can feel the air. The wave.
I looked at the skies. And I smiled.
I feel so different.

I walked slowly and I can feel the water. It was so cold. The birds were flying everywhere.
I picked up the sea-shell and draw my name.



Are you so scared people will hate you?. Dad was asking me.

I no need to please anyone dad. I realized that I don't have to be good to everyone just to make them stay.

You can call me whatever. I say what I want to say. It doesn't matter if they choose to leave.

Do you feel insecure?

Not anymore dad. Life is all about fighting to the very end. Not everybody is the same. Some people live by lies just to make people stay. I don't need that dad. Lies don't impress me much. It is easy to tell.

As we walked along the beach. I catch a glimpse of his look.
I took his hands and I hold them tight.

You know dad, when people saw us like this they might probably think I am your mistress.
My dad gives me that laughed. Really?.

I smiled. I don't know. Maybe. Do you care about what other people think dad?
Because I don't. I know myself very well dad. I know what I want in life.

I stopped.

Dad why do people lie?

I have a best friend.
He is my very best friend.

He was loving and romantic.
And I always take things for granted.

I have a best friend.
He is my very good friend.

But I regretted for taking things for granted.

I have a best friend. His name is Fred.

He always nice to me. He called me once in the blue moon and that makes me get upset.
But after all, he is my best friend.

We fight once and we didn't speak for a year.

One day, he saw me online and he said "hey" and I said "hello".
And we are friend again. Friends forgive each other. Friends don't hold grudges that long.

I have a best friend.
His name is Fred.

Where ever you are. Wish you good health and I promise I won't lie anymore. That is my Brownie's Oath.

A good friend is like Cherrie and Cream. Agree?