I am counting my dollars to see if it's enough till the end of the month. I've spent my entire salary for shopping and honestly I don't think I can survive till the end of the month now. Anyway, I bought a new toy today. And seriously, my card has been declined since last night. Did I just maxed o...

When I was at college, I fell in love with one of my course mate. He is 6 foot tall and he got this blue eyes. When I was at college, I fell in love with one of my course mate. He is a Canadian with bright smile. He used to sit at the corner of the classroom whenever we had the same subject together. During that moment, I was pretty sure that what I did was the right things to do. Then I texted...

Amazing to think that, no long ago we were both only two strangers who work under the same management. It was too amazing to think how did we come into this far. And we were the hot topic for last week. My days are falling into a sort of life pattern which is hard to explain. Apart from my shopaholic addiction I guess I am a beauty freak now. But all this - is a neutral ground. As I walked today...

I had a tough day in the office today. The GM keeps on attacking me. For I don't know what reason he keep saying something like, if your MD is not around I am your boss. The thing is he is not my boss, he just happened to be more senior than me. I think he forgot that my MD is the paymaster who pays for his salary and his house which tentatively is not his yet. He still couldn't get the fact that I am the MD second big lady. If...

Some say it is not easy to leave our old selves behind. Life is unexpected. I have nothing much to write today. In fact, I am excited as the weekend is finally approaching.  I may sound too lonely but having a boyfriend at the wrong time could be a disaster though. Sometimes, I do wish I could have someone who I can talk to. Who I can laugh it during my hardest time. Can someone make me...

I thought I was getting on better today. I just couldn't get along well with the General Manager. I'd tried to act normal but it was so obvious that people surround us do notice about us. I went out  for a late lunch with new friends who happened to know him very well. They said, I should just ignore him and do work professionally. Don't let the emotion control me because if that is the case,...

Last weekend, while waiting for a dinner I hang out with one of the Malaysian basketball player at one of the local coffee shop. I am not a sketchers freak. I am not into Adidas or even Nike or even Under Armour. Then again, there was this one topic where they were talking about Jeremy Scott design. And they showed me one of the photo. And they challenge me if I am dare to wear this. Taken From Google Anyway, if you don't...

I used to pick him up and send him away to the airport. It's not like the first time I am sending him away. But today, I felt sad.  Sad for being more than 8000 miles away to each other. Sad for waking up in the morning and knowing that L.A is 18hours different from K.L. I can't believe how I am relying so much to my Managing Director. Anyway, I am driving out to see my sales team now. Life...

Okay there are two choices here. Either I can keep myself staring out of the window worrying about the future or keep my journey forward. I finally found my dream job. But the road is not always clear. There will be always an obstacle along the way. Just like  what happened yesterday, the GM called me up and scolded me for some nonsense. Obviously, he is not happy with the new system and about...

To his great annoyance, let me tell you back then, I was just a normal girl who doing the office job from nine to five - five days a week. I felt insulted when he makes a remark about how much I am getting paid. As much as I've been reading books nowadays. One of the books, taught me that, "Never underestimate one's capability". All I'm saying is that, I am a different person now. I do not have...

Wilfred was my first high school boyfriend. I was 13 and he was 15. I thought we are going to get married but it turned out that we were not. He was tall with a fair skin and I could say that he was the most good looking guy I've ever seen in my entire life ( that moment ). I had  two boxes of his love letters to me. Although we never really go out for date but looking at each other from...

How's life? I forgot that I've been so silence for few months. Does it feel like a decade? I forget that I was the author of this blog and it seems like my blood run smoothly here. Why? Because I think I felt much more secure here. There are always a different when you've written so much and people tend to read you and dig about your personal more than expected. I've had a damaged heart. But I overcome...

6th April 2013 I managed to reach Singapore at 11:49am. The weather was pretty much fine. The first thing which I noticed about Singapore was there were trees all along the road from the Changi Airport heading to the city. It makes me feel more like coming back home. Here is the first photo I took as soon I got in his car. I told him about Boon Tong Kee which I found on the net few weeks back. It seem to be the famous Chicken...

I am not sure how does Heroin taste like. I am not so sure how does Methadone works on the body as well. But I know, the strong will to live will be the best weapon to survive. It was pretty dry and hot Sunday afternoon that I decided not to write at Alexa's Journey anymore. It has been abused too much. It was obviously my fault. And I don't have that much interest to be that pretty known blogger...

The mood forecast was clearly positive, I literally had turned on my positive-alarm to this new job obviously even though it was short notice.Woke up as early at 5:45am and I left for work like 6:30am. Amazingly, I am an early bird today. I never come to work so early like today.The place is clearly a strange place to me. So I brought my yogurt along and luckily I kept some crackers with me....

"I think it's safe to say you know the least about anything of anyone in this room." - HoodwinkedWe were having some coffee when she comes and approach us.I have to admit that she freaked me out and it ruined my day. Not because of something else but she tensed me up.She was talking to us like almost 30-minutes and I have not ordered any drinks yet. She asked me why didn't I say hi to her. And that...

"I can take life as quickly as I can give it." - Fired Up.Mom called me early morning today.As we talked, I can hear the Hillsong's was playing at the back.I love my parents.Let me tell you something, last Saturday I flew to Singapore.And it's remind me of going back to Kota Kinabalu . Although KK is not that modern as Singapore yet but some of the roads remind me something about my hometown and the best part the people itself.I...

I have had people walk out on me before, but not - When I was being so charming - Blade RunnerLast night was the greatest night ever.Not because I was in Singapore but that's because I have my boyfriend around.From what I remember we were having some issues the last few days.But seeing him smiling and waving at me right through  the entrance door is the happiest moment ever. And -Having...

I don't get it why we can forgive but yet not to forget. I just don't get it how people can easily push you away after all the things you've done for them. I don't actually get it why do we have to let go things that we care so much and later of the day it comes back and you just don't know how to react about it. I just don't get - how the things that you least expected happened.Now..I might...

I woke up this morning with Him on my mind.And obviously I keep checking on my mobile phone because that is the only way for us to communicate apart from Skype.Let me tell you something about my boyfriend.My boyfriend always on the run. So by the time I can get him on Skype it will be really late and I have to work the next morning. And honestly, I miss my boyfriend - now. I miss the day when...

I fall in love with Jason Chen's song since the first day I saw him on YouTube. His song keeps me moving with my writing and my song. I wish I could ever sing with him one day. And if I could not, I wish he can sing the song that I've written quite sometimes. Anyway, I just found out that he came by to Singapore and I missed his show. Quite frustrating. And; It was clearly not that very productive...

Another week without my man.I wish you were here.Stay Positive because it's worth living. Have a good weeke...

Woah, I was talking to my boyfriend when my cousin came in. He was looking at me one kind. Not that silly one kind but that "wtf my cousin have a bf now". I was secretly looking at him when he passed by me and I was like "hey! my cousin is handsome". Laugh Out Loud. I don't really talk to this cousin but when we were little we used to play together and I used to make him cry. Now that we...

This is all I could think for Boey's new book cover. I suggested him to draw himself and River sitting next to each other at the park but then again it doesn't seem to stay in line with the title itself. Yeah he was right enough about that.Well, I am planning to draw a boy holding a balloon back then but I am not really good with drawing.What I am trying to say here is, a balloon represents a memory by a young kid. And he is holding...

Since I don't have any brother or sister, I get too attached to people who I am comfortable with so easily. I don't know why, but I am quite clingy sometime (maybe most of the time). But don't get me wrong, I am not that friendly to everyone. It takes some time for me to even create a conversation to strangers. But normally, I'll smile and will do my scanning ( you know I like doing that ). However I am quite spontaneous I must...

I am born with a straight black hair. But I always wish to have a long curly hair. When I was a kid, I used to force mom to bring me for a hairdo. And mommy will say, no you can't perm your hair. That was quite frustrating!!! So what I did, when we migrated to KL I get my hair done. It looks good for a week and I looked like so out of the place a week after that. Then I get my hair straighten. Yes it looks fine but it so plain...

I am approximately 197 miles away from my boyfriend. We are fine. It is normal to fight sometimes. There are times when I get upset with him. And there are times when I just could not get hold of him. But amazingly he always takes thing positive. And that means something to me. Honestly; When I first met him, my mind was all over the place. I am sitting next to him staring at him and wondering...

Sometime I could be out of my mind. There are times when I just say things spontaneously without even have the thought of I might get other people offended. But seriously, I didn't mean it that way. Anyway, my mommy always said that if I've got nothing nice to say I better keep my mouth seal. But I always think that being straight forward is good. Because I don't want to bite my tongue till it...

It's how you change the ending. Because the beginning of the chapter has been ruined...

I always have issues with my name. But then I figure out that it was not only me who having the same issue.Well my name is just fine, nothing wrong with that. The only thing is, my name have this "Binti" and people always misunderstood me. You know what I mean? Ain't you.From where I come from, it is very common to have this "bin" or "binti" especially those who born in the year of 70s and...

When I was little, my mom says that I am too secretive.I find it is really hard to express my feeling. Then I started to write a letter to my mom.I was 16 when I first sent Dad an email.I find it is easy to write rather than saying. But when I really say something - that's mean I really mean it.Because now I come to realize that we only say something when we really really really mean it. Like when...

I am not sure what to write tonight. I've been writing so much but I kept deleting them. Oh I hate this feeling. I hate what I heard. I hate everything. Mom said once that I am good at hiding my feeling.  I am not sure how true it is. I am quite upset. Because I knew it. Anyway, no point writin...

I don't usually get sick that easy but when I did...I'd really sick like really really sick. However I went to work as usual today...only to find out that things get messed up. Anyway, I've got no time for that kind of stupid stuff. So I'd finish whatever I have to do. When everybody gets suspicious - I decided to stay out of the whole sticky situation. Actually, I have nothing much to do anymore....

I am writing this now with my heart sinking. I woke up this morning with a fever and  a sore throat. Today I am sick and upset. Upset because nobody seems to car...

I made a huge mistake by approving strangers to follow me on Instagram. I've been deleting most of my self-portrait pictures from this morning. And I've blocked few people. I felt uneasy when one of this freaking weird man keeps on posting a comment to most of my self-portrait photos. He will "LIKE" most of my new post and when I looked back all his comments I feel like I wanna throw up. So I deleted...

Writing this with myself lying on my bed staring at the ceiling fan spinning. Spinning. And Spinning. I remember doing this long time before. The curtain was closed. I let the music on. Loud. Very loud. There is this pain on my chest. Tried to scream but no ones hear me. It feels like the cold breeze blows my heart. Maybe I am just another fool. Tried to close my eyes but I felt this cold tears...

The thing about my boyfriend is, when he gets busy he forgets about me.The thing about my boyfriend is, he doesn't know how to express his feeling.The thing about my boyfriend is, he always makes me wait.The thing about my boyfriend is, he is good at talking. Call him the philosopher. He got tons of idea or plan in his head and he always got the reason to answer me back,literally. I feel like I am...

I just don't believe it when my HR Manager pulled me into her room. She said, she is happy for my new career and wish me luck but at the same time she is sad for letting me go as she truly like me. I said, whoa - what's that supposed to be. I didn't answer much but I remember for telling her that I am thankful for all the support and so but I need to go as this is my opportunity. And I told...

I've been friends with Jason for like almost a year now. Not really a year but it's going to soon. I remember when we first met I was like texting him inside the car and I looked at him and smiled. He said, silly come out from the car. I refused and he came out and stand next to the driver seat. He is not my boyfriend. Don't worry. And, we were chatting on Whatsapp like everyday. He knows that I...

I'll finish whatever I started.So I break the news today. He looked so shocked.Everyone doesn't seem happy knowing that I am leaving.None of them expecting this news on Monday afternoon.But nothing can stop me anymore. I would never let that happen. I've gone so far now, I made too many tough decisions since last year and I am glad I've overcome my fear.Now that I am done digesting everything, I'll...

Today I woke up and I wished that Ryan Keith is my boyfriend. Or maybe Nash Overstreet. I tell you they are hot dude. And I'm like whoa my latest obsession is Hot Chelle Rae. I always think that guy with ink are hotter. Like me. Laugh Out Loud. Sometime people give the wrong impression to those people who got tattooed on their body. I mean what is fucking wrong with you people?. Having a tattoo doesn't mean that you are cruel....

So I thought Wanie was busy with her boyfriend and I drove for late lunch alone. I was at the traffic light and  I was busy looking at my compact powder's mirror just to make sure my hair is cool.There was this car keep giving me high and low beam since just now and I am pretending like Yo dude I don't give a damn. So I was driving at my own risk. And little did I know it was Kelvin. I was like...

Sometime they thought that they know me very well. But they not.My heart made of stone and when I slow down that's mean I am losing hope. Slowly.I can be very direct to people but at the same time I am hoping the same too.It's a simple word Yes for the thing which you can and No for the thing you can't.It is not hard to catch my breath.I am learning how to react every day. Try as hard to be on the...

I don't feel like writing anything today.I  felt like frozen. But here I am still trying to write something which upsets me. And now after what happened, I can't barely remember what was it about.I drove to the Starbuck and ordered my drink. And they noticed me.They are few people around there who noticed me with my hair. They said it look good on me.It's cool when people notice that little things about me.The weather...

Sometime I am wondering what are you doing right now. Sometime I was wondering did you really cut me off the other day. There are times like this when, I don't know who you really are. I wish I can see a video of you or a photo of you everyday, but we are not friends at Facebook. So I have no clue. Maybe I am not that important...

Boey was writing about how he gets a watermelon as a cake for Ellery's birthday.I laughed out loud when I got to know that he got Ellery a Banana as a birthday gift.I told Boey I wouldn't want a Banana for a Birthday Gift. And he said I should ask for Manana which means tomorrow and isn't that diiiirty. Okay right.So I got this banana yesterd...

I went to visit an old friend today. I tried to make sure I'll reach there before lunch hour. And I was reading a magazine while waiting for that familiar face to come and pick me up. It says that, the key to happiness is to face your fear. Everyone has fear so do I. I can seem to figure out what is my fear now. But my brain so frozen to even think about it. Because, insensitivity feels...

There is always some truth behind ; Just Kidding Knowledge behind ; I don't know Emotion behind ; I don't care And Pain behind ; It's ok...

So today is the last day of February. And Monster was asking me last night if I am "sure" to write like every day or not. I don't remember what exactly I answered him. But I'll try to write like everyday because now I have a regular subscriber wink~ wink~ So I am addicted to this Little Flower. It said that this is a perfect gift for Modern People. And it's definitely true. I spent like an hour just to choose the best...

I finally decided to move my career to the next level. I've gone for two interviews already. The thing with me is I get bored easily with the same old routine. I like something which is new and challenging. I have to admit that I am quite a fast learner so learning a new thing for me is not a hard thing beside I am set for adaptation very well. So my close friend at working place was telling me...

I don't know if you are reading this but you've been hacking my Facebook ever since.You've been hacking my email quite sometimes too.I've been changing my password ever since and you've just hacked my email last weekend.But there was nothing there to read. Because I am smart enough.Maybe you've forgotten I am very good in IT. And you were stunned when I showed you how I fixed my old computer.You know...

So I was upset with my boyfriend the other day. And he was pissed off with me too. So we have not been talking like 2-days. So that was our first fight?. Maybe. So I have to agree fighting sometime good because it helps both to understand each other especially me. And seriously, silent treatment doesn't really works. And sometimes I think I don't  want to give in. But then I miss him. And...

I was reading to Jo's blog this morning. Actually this gonna be the fifth times of me reading the same post. I like it when she writes about Alex. And how she told Alex for the first time,"I Love You". Although it was not exactly "I Love You" but that sound the same. Have you ever told anyone, " I Love You" first? It will be pretty awesome right to hear this from someone dear to you. At least you...

The best way to appreciate someone is to imagine your life without them - Joseph Germ...

So she got Reuben Kang. Laugh out Loud. But he is cute though.Did you throw your oranges too? I told the boys and they were laughing at me. What the he...

Jay once said I should learn Korean so that I can do the rapping in Korean. I laughed out loud today. It was raining and I didn't take out my umbrella, instead I ran off with my jacket and hood on. He told me I look like a school girl running like that. He asked, why wouldn't I have my umbrella on. I told him, leceh bah! Laugh out loud. It was really raining like seriously and I told him lucky tomorrow I am not working...